Spill the Tea with Dr. P: Love Your Body

Sneak Peak: It’s time to spill the tea about weight-loss culture and get to a better you!

My weight has been an ongoing struggle for years. Growing up, I used to be a chubby kid. I didn’t grow up with healthy eating habits on both sides of my family. Despite my mother’s attempts to encourage healthy eating, I suffered with low self-esteem. I turned to bulimia to cope with this for a few years.

Throwback to my 21st birthday. I looked good, right? So why should I lose weight?

College and grad school came. I packed on the weight. I saw my weight gain as a sign of healing. For once, I could own my body as is. I didn’t have to deal with people always telling me what to do. Plus, I had some curves. Now, men were noticing. So why should I lose weight?

Reality Check

2025 gave me a reality check when I stepped on the scale and I was 208.8 pounds. I didn’t look that big because I carried it well. I knew how to dress to accentuate my figure. My body, on the other hand, reminded me I was 208.8 pounds. My ankles were in pain after going for walks due to the weight being used on them. I was winded after going up a flight of stairs. My stomach started to hang low.

Back in 2023, I was working at Bath and Body Works. One of my supervisors was going through her weight loss journey and the results were showing. I asked her for suggestions. She told me that went on semaglutide. She also changed her lifestyle, limited alcohol intake, and sweets. She encouraged me to try it and see what happens. Before I left the U.S., I lost 40 pounds. Unfortunately, I didn’t stick with my healthy habits. I gained the weight—hence the 208.8.

It's 2025. No more excuses. I needed to learn how to eat better—not diet better. I needed to learn how to incorporate exercise that works for me. I took action in my life. Here’s what I did:

·      I am on semaglutide (I’ll finish end of May).

·      I eat smaller meals instead of three large meals.

·      I limit my sweets (desserts) to special occasions.

·      I am not restricting myself.

·      I am finding alternatives to things I like (instead of yogurt, I eat Greek yogurt).

·      I am finding ways to enjoy exercising. I like to dance. Why not dance?

·      I enjoy morning walks and listening to gospel music.

This was back in February 2025. At this point, I was in onderland and decided to take a full picture of myself to celebrate.

These changes are working for me. I am now back in onderland (this means I’m no longer 200+ pounds). I am not at my end goal, but I’m making positive strives daily. I always saw weight loss as a struggle because I focused on what weight loss culture told me. Fruit is bad! Carbs are bad! Don’t ever eat French fries! You must do HIIT workouts! Don’t cheat your way by taking meds or getting work done! So annoying, right?

Why I Can’t Stand Body Shaming and Toxic Weight Loss Culture

 My entire life, I was (and I will be) never enough for someone. I wasn’t curvy enough. I wasn’t small enough. I needed to do more squats to get a bigger butt (since the BBL craze came out). Not anymore! My body is something I am loving for me. This has changed my mind set to let go of the criticisms. I needed to let go of the body I once had in my teen years. It’s not coming back. I’m almost in my 30s (yes, I can’t believe I said that). I love the body God has given to me.

When I told a former friend I was going on semaglutide again, the negativity spewed in. “That’s cheating!” It reminded me of the beliefs weight loss culture pushes: using supplements, medications, surgeries, etc. as a way of “cheating”. Yes, there are people who think medicine or surgeries are a quick fix, but most people do need additional support to get them where they need to go. Why would I shame someone from getting the help that they need to become a better version of themselves? Makes no sense to me. Also, I noticed the harshest critics are usually the ones who are also struggling with their own issues (weight loss, low self-esteem, etc.)

Check Thyself Before You Wreck Thyself

It seems like our society loves to point the finger at people who get additional help in their weight loss journey. Sometimes, we point the finger because it’s easier to examine the choices others make instead of looking at our own life. Jesus asks us to examine our own motives and look at ourselves before we check others.

And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye,

but do not consider the plank in your own eye? – Matthew 7:3 NKJV

Interview with Dr. PaQuita Pullen (aka Dr. P)

Meet Dr. PaQuita Pullen. 10+ years as a wellness counselor, CEO and Founder of Ubuntu Counseling and Wellness, and author of Hey Sis, You Got Dis(sertation)!

I asked a friend of mine, Dr. PaQuita Pullen, her professional opinion as a counselor. Dr. Pullen is the CEO and Founder of Ubuntu Counseling and Wellness in Nashville and Middle Tennessee. She’s been in the wellness game for 10+ years, author of Hey Sis, You Got Dis(sertation)!, facilitator, and a keynote speaker. Basically, she knows her stuff. Plus, she will always keep it real. I interviewed with her and gathered her thoughts.

Question #1: What’s the difference between struggling and working hard?

Our culture seems to think they’re synonymous. Is this true?

The difference between struggling and working hard can typically be found in the outcome! Struggling tends to lead to the same result one way or another! For example, have you ever met someone who tends to date the same person in a different body? After all of the self-love, self-help books, and self-care activities, since their last relationship, they end up right where they started! Not because they’re a bad person or because self-love, self-help books, and self-care doesn’t work, but because it was performative!

In my decade plus years, as a well-being professional, I know that the “work” we say we’re doing isn’t always the work we need to be doing, which is a bad combo! Issue + Performative Work = Same Outcome/Struggle! Working hard includes all of the above and more! It’s asking for help, it’s challenging yourself to do something new, different and uncomfortable often. It’s having good days and character-building days! It’s saying no to the “easy” path that’s pretty darn tempting to take! It’s recognizing your patterns and honoring your truths! Hopefully you get the point! The difference? You begin to see real change take root in your life! Issue + Deep & Intentional Work = Hard Work/Success!

Question #2: Why do people associate struggle with weight loss?

I noticed with weight loss culture that you have to “prove” that you went through some struggle. You have to “prove” that you did things the “right” way and “didn’t’ cheat”.

Weight loss is considered such a hot topic! Everyone has an opinion, often unwarranted and unwanted opinions (if we’re being honest)! There are so many stigmas associated with being overweight, often rooted in the idea that it’s a personal moral failure and therefore must require a personal moral undertaking!

Quite similar to drug addiction, where once upon a time people truly believed someone could stop by sure willpower! There is no one-size-fits all as it relates to most things, including weight, yet people absorb and internalize these over generalized messages as truth and never challenge them! Internalizing false narratives often lead to shame which can be paralyzing! Simply put, absorbing “truths” that aren’t yours because you know not what’s true for you tend to lead to a life of struggle as it relates to weight loss!

Question #3: Since we all shouldn’t have a one-size fits all approach. What actionable goals can someone take today that can help them reach to love themselves again? This includes weight loss, dismantling stigmas, and/or aligning yourself with the right people?

1.     Seek support from trusted professionals who are skilled at helping you to find clarity!

2.     Research a minimum of 3 weight loss strategies from trusted sources before you decide!

3.     Focus on what feels good to your body more than how it looks!

4.     Decide what “hard” you’re willing to accept because all journeys will have pros and cons!

5.     Decide what you believe for yourself and align yourself with people who support those beliefs!

6.     Surround yourself with people who are honest and kind!

7.     Refuse to engage in stigmatized behavior towards others. Supporting their weight loss choices will empower you to implement your own.

8.     Choose one small weight loss goal and stick to it… the simpler the better! Once you achieve results, then add more!

9.     Be safe, always! If it causes you harm in anyway. Real harm as in more than mild to moderate discomfort. Be kind enough to yourself to stop and pivot!

Question #4: This is good. To end this, what is your advice for body shamers?

Stop it! Body shaming adds a whopping 0% value to the body shamer or the body shamed! Choose to support people or leave them alone. The absolute least you could do for someone is choose not to inflict harm on them due to some misguided notion that shame inspires. It doesn’t! Every one of us, regardless of body size, are worthy of kindness, respect and dignity and if you can’t provide that, seek support to figure out why or be silent.

Well, there you have it! I hope this blog helps inspire your fitness, well-being, and/or alignment goals. You heard it from Dr. P and me. You can follow Dr. PaQuita Pullen on LinkedIn, Instagram @pq_renee, Ubuntu Counseling and Wellness or check out her website here.

Until next time,

-Brittany!